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<h1 style="text-align: center;">Maintaining Strong Relationships: The Art Of Consistent Upkeep</h1> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/489043409/photo/trio-of-elegant-beautiful-coquettish-women.jpg?s=612x612&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Q9XETWBVnPxv99Rx7eBiC7SXJNKsN18rrK-lR6-tNMg=" alt="" width="800" /></p> <p>Relationships (casual and serious) are like our apartments - they require regular cleaning and maintenance.</p> <p>Yes, apartments do need cleaning, as much as we'd like to never clean and live in complete squalor.</p> <p>Relationships are the same way in that they need upkeeping. The sooner it happens, the more preventative it's likely to be and save the drama to follow. For guidance on island escapes to keep your relationship fresh, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/05/19/how-to-plan-a-caribbean-island-hopping-adventure/" rel="dofollow">how to plan a caribbean island-hopping adventure</a>.</p> <p>The same way the dishes need to be done and the loose change collected between the cracks in the sofa, we all need to do the small amounts of work to keep our relationships running smoothly.</p> <p>See without, miscommunication and issues start to fester.</p> <p>And rather than letting it build like an avalanche over our cozy little lodge, it's a lot more effective calling out issues before they build.</p> <h2>Using Good Judgement To Avoid Drama</h2> <p>The best way to do this is using good judgement - now how does that happen?</p> <p>It may come as a surprise, but not everything you read on the Internet is reliable - maybe not even what I'm saying. It's my version of the truth, and everyone else has theirs.</p> <p>The same with dating advice.</p> <p>There are general rules and principles that help guide us along the right path; these are the "fundamentals", sort of like the fundamentals of hitting a baseball.</p> <p>But there are no fixed rules on looking for what pitch is coming up next or making the good judgements of an accurate hitter.</p> <p>It's the same in all sports: there are basics to stick to, but good decision making on the field comes from experience.</p> <p>And certainly not from the Internet. For important financial conversations, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/09/18/6-money-talks-couples-need-before-moving-in/" rel="dofollow">6 money talks couples need before moving in</a>.</p> <p>It's the chicken and egg thing - we develop good judgement only after gaining <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/">online dating experience</a>, yet that's exactly the reason why we're here.</p> <p>But that we hae that good judgement in our bodies already.</p> <h2>Trusting Your Emotions To Make Better Choices</h2> <p>Ever watch a movie and "feel" the tension or suspenseful moments?</p> <p>Those are emotional responses, and they're the visceral reactions we're not accustomed to using in online dating. But single women use it ALL the time. Emotional responses are immediate, and they're almost always right. They happen during a first impression, and they also happen when your body is telling you something.</p> <p>Here's another one: ever been with a single girl and just know something's off but don't know what it is?</p> <p>That's the same spidey sense telling you there's trouble around the corner, and you better start looking for what's wrong and how to fix it. And it's unfair, because you only get better at it the more you do it. But that's the first clue: feeling for those emotional responses.</p> <p>For insights into living healthily together, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/05/23/what-does-a-healthy-lifestyle-look-like-for-todays-modern-couples/" rel="dofollow">what does a healthy lifestyle look like for today&rsquo;s modern couples?</a>.</p> <h2>Proactively Addressing Relationship Issues</h2> <p>This judgement will tell you when to kiss her, how to touch her and when drama is around the corner.</p> <p>Picking up without following through into relationships (again, serious or <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Spain-dating-service.html?page=6">casual dating</a>...) won't teach you how to react to these situations.</p> <p>Sure, we learn some other skills through approaching, but communication and emotional skills develop over time within relationships.</p> <p>Setting boundaries is another way to limit miscommunication and better define for us what is acceptable and what is not. It puts us in a position to think more about our needs within the relationship.</p> <p>Most of the time it comes down to being understood. We all have our own perspectives, and we want them to be heard, which requires communication. Find the emotional root of why you want all these things, and package them into a rapport story. For example, I wanted space to maintain my lifestyle in one of my relationships - I told a story about a former relationship where this didn't happen along with all the unhappiness that followed.</p> <p>I told her I'm unhappy when x happens, and women understand very well the rule of, "[translate:not happy] = [translate:drama]".</p> <p>So there you have it, the "[translate:not happy] = [translate:drama]" equation:</p> <p>x (event) = [translate:not happy] = [translate:drama] = continued [translate:drama] = searching for someone else</p> <p>It's really that simple.</p> <p>Men have wondered for centuries why women leave them. The low self-esteem women don't leave because they yearn for the continuing abuse. The high self-esteem ones bolt for the door at the first sign of continuing drama. Drama happens comes from bad <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Brazil-dating-service.html?gender=female">choice of single women</a>, laziness, and inexperience - or a mix of all three. When we make bad choices with women, the relationship is fatally flawed and doomed for a horrific, painful death spiral unless we cut it off at the past (been there).</p> <p>Laziness on our part to deal with the issue...</p> <p>Repeat: Deal with the issue.</p> <p>Repeat: Deal with the issue.</p> <p>Repeat: Deal with the issue.</p> <p>Repeat: Deal with the issue, on the spot.</p> <p>leads to the issue festering her mind. And just like everything else powerful and emotionally-based within single women, it has to do with her thinking. A good case would be fantasies, where these forces are working for you. But not in the case of drama and irrational, trouble-seeking over-think - no, that would work AGAINST YOU (been there). And finally, inexperience leads us to believe and act in ways that don't make sense to her and may upset her. This happens commonly with not perceiving her needs and reading between the lines.</p> <p>For some of us, reading between the lines may as well mean reading between signals, horoscopes and kalaidoscopes since none of them make any sense.</p> <p>Again, personal judgement.</p> <p>If you call everyday and skip a day, she's going to think something's wrong. If your cellphone mysteriously disappears every time she's around, and it's heard vibrating elsewhere in your place at 2 in the morning while she's laying in bed with you... better start thinking of a cover. Just a few plausible scenarios. And no, that may just be your Mom calling from overseas at 2 in the morning - but you get the point.</p> <p>Finally, let's talk reinforcement of the boundaries we set. We've set them, and we need to condition them into place. That's right: we reward when things are well within those boundaries and punish when they're not.</p> <p><strong>Reward:</strong> giving her an attentive, attractive man who understands her.</p> <p><strong>Punish</strong>: take away that attentive, attractive man who understands her.</p> <p>Just as it's our job to find and fix issues, it's also our job to guide her and put all the right conditions to do that.</p> <p>And none of this is arbitrary. We've articulated our needs, vulnerabilities and give her our emotional honesty. She respects us and is willing to understand us.</p> <p>Just as she has expectations for your behavior, so we should have ours for how she should behave.</p> <p>And just she has the "[translate:Not Happy] = [translate:Drama]" Equation, we follow it in return.</p>